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Whenever bad things happen in our life, we tend to feel bad. Sometimes we may blame people as well for causing the “bad things” to happen. Most of the time, we blame other party for not making our life better or make things happen the way we want it to be.

We blame the government for not taking appropriate actions, we blame our boss for not making them rich, we blame our spouse for not being supportive, we blame our friends for not helping us when we are in need and the list goes on. In another words, we tend to focus on the outer things.

The outer things are the result from the inner part of us, which are our mind and thought. In order to solve a problem, we must look at the inside. We must look at the root, or the cause of the problem. We can not change the result by focusing on the result. We can only change the result by changing the cause of the problem.

Let"s take a flowering plant as a metaphor. The flowers, fruits and the leaves are the outer parts of a plant. They"re on the outside while the root is the inner part of the plant as it is buried deep inside the ground. The inner part is the cause and the outer parts are the effect.

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If we come across to a plant which has beautiful flowers, healthy leaves and sweet fruits (outside), we can be sure that the root (inside) is absorbing enough nutrients for the plant.

However, if we see an unhealthy plant where the color of the flowers is dull, the leaves yellowish and dry, the fruits are small and sour, and then we know that something is wrong with the root (inside). Perhaps the root is not able to find or absorb sufficient nutrients from the ground.

In order the change the outer things, which are to have more beautiful flowers, fresher leaves and sweeter fruits; we can not blame the flowers. We can not blame the leaves either and we can not blame the fruits. By blaming on the outer things, we achieve nothing. Furthermore, it makes ourselves feel bad.

The smarter way to change the result is by working from the inside. Find out what the plant needs and what is its optimum condition? Put more fertilizer and put the plant in the proper weather. By working correctly from the inside, the outside will take care of itself.

So, instead of blaming the government, support its opponent in the election. Instead of blaming your boss for the low paying job, build your own business. Instead of blaming your spouse for not being supportive, try to be independent. Instead of blaming your friends for not being caring, improve your relationship with them or find another group of friends.

The lesson here is do not blame anybody for whatever that happens to you. It will only make you feel bad. So learn to take actions and start to lead your happy life. Every action counts.

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    • KamMeng

      Hi Raymond,

      What can I say? 110% agree. This not only happens in our lifestyle, but sometime the “sickness” as well.

      If we change our mindset, all of sudden, everything changed.

      I can still recall 1 example that can be very inspiring on how to change your mindset.

      If you are having an argument with your friends and raised your voice, all of sudden, you phone rang and it is your girlfriend. All I can say is that you might in that split seconds change your voice to a softer tone to talk to her.

      Now, who says you can’t change your mindset?

    • raymond

      Hi Kam Meng,

      Thank you for sharing the example and your experience.

      And Yes! it apply to curing a sickness as well. :)

      Great insight, I hope to see you more ;)

    • Michael Liew

      Hi Raymond,

      I am totally agreed with you. Last time I used to blame the government for changing policy and make people like us difficult to secure project but not any more. Each changes has make me stronger and I have a different mindset to look at things that happen around me.

      Michael Liew

    • raymond

      Hi Michael,

      I’m glad to hear that you benefit from the changes around you.

      That’s the way it should be. :)

    • RMPMAX

      Hi Raymond,

      “Be the Change You Want To See in the World” – that’s the famous quote from Mahatma Gandi. Blaiming someone else or something else is the easiest way to do rather than looking inside ourselves. The question to ask is: will blaiming someone else or something solve our problem and offer a good solution? Ask a better question, then our brain will give a better answer. At the end of the day, what we can change is ourselves or something which is within our control. The government policy, other people’s attitude/believe are all beyond our control. Back to the quote above, Be the Change You Want to See in the World…so the change has to come from our selves not from others. Your emotion come from your self…


    • raymond

      Hi RMPMAX,

      I will choose to agree with you in this case. :)

      Blaming others is easier. However, it changes nothing but adding more negative thoughts to our own mind.

      Thanks for coming and sharing. :)

    • Alicia Pierce

      Great job Raymond. Love this ” By working correctly from the inside, the outside will take care of itself.”


    • raymond

      Hi Alicia,

      Thank you so much from taking your precious time to drop by.

      You make my day! :)

      Tell you what. I love that phrase too. :)


    • lisaq

      you are so dead on here raymond! nicely done! :)

    • raymond

      Hey lisaq,

      Thanks for coming. :) And thank you for your compliment. I appreciate you. :)

    • pamela

      this is a great article. You should get this post on our national newspaper and let more people view this. Singaporean needs to give thanks and be contented under our paternalistic government(I sincerely appreciate our government)
      BTW, whenever I feel like making complaints and become unsatisfied, I will remind myself of the Grace I have and give thanks. In this way, I do not put blame on others and on the external environment.Blog over here.

    • raymond

      Hi Pamela,

      Thanks for your kind words. Let me know if you know or close with any editor. :)

      You can ask him/her to contact me for the reprint permission. ;)

      It’s good to hear that you’re working from the inside. That’s the way it should be.

    • Susan Denny

      Hi Raymond,
      I see that we are on the same wavelength. Great article! I’m tired of people blaming everything that happens to them on others. Why can’t people take responsibility for their own actions?

    • raymond

      Hey Susan,

      Welcome to my blog.

      Like attracts like, you see. ;)

      That’s why most of my readers and I think alike.

      I’m glad to have you here, Susan. :)

    • Kerri W

      Hi Raymond

      I attended UPW in Sydney in 2003 and crewed it in Sept 2007.

      It literally changed my life in 2003 and it was such a priviledge to come back and be part of the crew last month.

    • raymond

      Hi Kerri,

      Thank you for dropping by.

      Do you mean that you were there in Singapore last month?

      I was there too :)

    • Kerri W

      Hi Raymond, I am not a jetsetter yet. I crewed UPW in Sydney (sept 2007). :)

    • raymond

      Hey Kerri,

      Huh, what a relieve.

      I crewed in Unlimited Power Singapore and I didn’t see you there.

      I was thinking, “How could this be”.

      Thank god that it’s clear now. :)

    • BrightnSunny

      Dear Raymond,
      What a great reminder … “Take Action .. as every action counts” … YES … this will sink in deep within me! Thanks for being my teacher again!

    • raymond

      Hi BrightnSunny,

      I’m so happy today that you benefit from my writing. Thank you for the feedback. It gives me the force to give more. :)

      I hope to see you more, here. ;)

      Thank you.

    • Malia and Dave


      We are part of Stephen’s coaching club and found your forum post there…

      Your article really flows with a strong opening sentence and metaphor. We also really enjoy the layout of your site and look forward now to following your blog..good work!

    • raymond

      Hey Malia and Dave,

      Welcome to my Law of Attraction blog and thank you for your kind compliment. :)

      I’m happy to hear that you’re following my blog. :) I really appreciate that. Thank you.

    • Tanady

      Hi Raymond,

      Great post… you’ve made it again.. ^_^

      The title of the post speaks out loud.. and I’m totally agree with that… :p

      Cheers from SMCC,

    • raymond

      Hi Tanady,

      Thank you for coming and for your compliment :)

      I hope you benefit from it.


    • Katie Kolber

      This tendency of ours will be a challenge long after the duration of this blogpost. I’m in complete agreement with you, but I still work on this myself. I know it, but I need to continue to culture some more emotional maturity on the subject.

      I think it helps to remind each other of this basic fact, even if it’s in the middle of a disagreement. Instead, let’s tell each other of the value a differing action or opinion is to us all. Jesus was said to have said, “Love your enemy.” Perhaps he meant that our enemies can be appreciated for the value their differing opinion brings to the table. He may not have meant, “Agree with everyone.”

      For a fictional bird flying and observing well above the Milky Way, all is well, and there is no true evil.

      • raymond

        Hi Katie,

        Thanks for sharing that. You wrote it beautifully.

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